Broken Hearts and Cheese Buns
by SurviveWithoutAnyone
Summary: Peeta finds Katniss trying to make her own cheese buns.


_A one-shot that just kind of popped into my head and demanded to be written. I do not own the Hunger Games or the characters mentioned._

* * *

_Fuck. How many times did I watch Peeta make these?_

Four failed batches of cheese buns later, Katniss isn't sure what infuriates her more, the fact that she can't get them right, how much food she's wasted in her attempts or knowing that even if she did get them right it wouldn't repair the huge fucking hole in her heart.

A month ago she was fine. A month ago she didn't miss him. A month ago when her friends had revealed the dates and locations each of them had spotted Peeta with Glimmer Matthews she told them she didn't care, he was free to do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted and surprisingly managed to sound convincing when she stated that she wouldn't bat an eyelash if she saw Peeta with Glimmer herself.

That seemed to shut them all up because they haven't mentioned him since.

But then two weeks ago, they dined at Sae's Steakhouse.

Where she works.

During her shift.

Katniss did a double take when she saw them standing at the front of the restaurant whilst returning from taking an order from a table of 4. Peeta had his arm around Glimmer's waist while he was offering her one of his breathtaking smiles that would make Katniss weak in the knees. To make matters worse, the brand new hostess who didn't know about Katniss' 7 year history with Peeta sat the happy couple in her section.

Rue and even Thresh offered to take the table for her but she declined. There was no way in hell she would let Peeta know the effect he had on her. If he'd moved on then so had she. After all, she was the one who'd told him she wouldn't marry him.

"_It's just a piece of paper, Peeta," Katniss whispered sadly._

"_If it's just a piece of paper, then why are you so dead set against it?" Peeta asked, trying and failing to hide his pain and disappointment. _

Katniss couldn't tell him that promises of forever terrified her because they couldn't possibly be kept. She couldn't tell him that how much she loved him - how much she needed him - overwhelmed her. She should've told him that she felt she'd already become too dependent on him for her own comfort and the thought of losing herself completely unnerved her.

The words wouldn't come and Peeta was met with a deafening silence. He took one long look at the regret clearly written on Katniss' face before he walked out the door.

Katniss didn't stop him. She didn't try to contact him after to let him know that he misunderstood, that her refusal to marry him didn't mean she didn't love him. She couldn't give Peeta what he wanted. She would let him go because he deserved so much more.

She never thought he'd have the audacity to come to her work on a date. Yet there he was with Glimmer Matthews, who, Katniss was sure, was willing to give Peeta everything he wanted, everything he needed.

Katniss forced an attempt at her best smile and waited on them like would any other guest. Her smile only faltered once and it wasn't until the end of the meal when she was returning Peeta's credit card to find them kissing.

After that, Katniss removed any reminders of Peeta and their time together from her house.

She threw away the soft orange lacy underwear as well as the matching bra that Peeta loved so much. She gave the stuffed squirrel Peeta won for her from a game at a carnival they'd gone to when they were still in high school to her neighbor's little girl. She even bought brand new bedding hoping to forget the ways he'd passionately fucked her on her old bedding. She'd already washed and placed the new sheets on her bed before she realized that if she was going that route, she'd need to replace the dining table, the couch, her desk and _should she repaint_? _No, that's just being ridiculous, _she decided.

She boxed up all the sketchbooks and artwork Peeta had made her over the years and placed them in the garage including the painting he'd done of the trees and the waterfall they'd found on their hike that had hung in her living room.

There were only two items she hadn't moved from their home in her jewelry box. One was a white gold necklace, the pendant said Always in elegant cursive and Peeta had given it to her as a high school graduation present 3 days after Katniss admitted to being scared Peeta would find someone better out in the real world and stop loving her. The other was a white gold ring with an aquamarine and an emerald gemstone set into the band with the words 'Always' engraved on the inside. Peeta had just given it to her a couple years ago for her 21st birthday.

She'd stopped going to the bakery after learning Peeta had taken it over and was there more often than not. Until recently Prim would stop into the bakery to pick up pastries for Katniss but one day she told her that she wasn't getting her cheese buns anymore so if Katniss wanted them she'd have to get them herself. Instead, Katniss is attempting to make them herself.

The first batch she burnt. The second batch was too doughy. The third too flat. She can't pinpoint what's wrong with this last batch but they sure as hell don't taste like the one's Peeta makes.

_And now I'm out of fucking cheese!_

Distressed and outraged, Katniss picks up the offending cheese buns and chucks each one at the wall just above the dining room table, cursing Peeta and Glimmer and their perfect blonde hair and Peeta's perfect baking skills and Glimmer's perfect green eyes. Now there's 4 dozen cheese buns littered across her kitchen floor, cheese smeared down her wall and all over the table.

"And now I have a fucking mess to clean up," she yells in frustration and throws the cookie sheet on the floor in a second attempt to make herself feel better.

She's just picked up the last cheese bun when she hears the doorbell. She doesn't bother checking her reflection before she goes to answer, a decision she immediately regrets once she's opened the door.

Katniss looks a fright with her frazzled hair most of it coming loose from her braid. The heat of the kitchen as well as the exertion from her earlier frustrations has her sweating and her hair is matted to her head along her hairline. There's flour smudged on her cheek and her shirt which is also covered in melted cheese.

Peeta on the other hand looks perfect, like always. His curls are slightly disheveled and Katniss has to fight everything in her to stop herself from running her fingers through them. _I'm not allowed to touch him like that anymore, _she reminds herself. _He's someone else's boyfriend now._

Still, she lets her eyes roam over his body, lingering on the way his forest green shirt clings to his chest and arms outlining his muscles, reminding Katniss the way they flexed when he hovered over her, his forearms holding his weight as he thrusted into her. _No, Katniss. Don't go there._

When she finally reaches his sapphire eyes she notices the color of his shirt makes them stand out even more than usual and she tries to remember if there ever was a color he wore that didn't compliment his eyes but the sound of Peeta's voice breaks through her thoughts.

"Katniss, are you baking?" Peeta's tone is disbelieving.

"What are you doing here Peeta?"

"I…well, ah… can I come in?"

For the first time Katniss notices Peeta is carrying a box. She steps back just enough to let Peeta in without making any physical contact. Peeta sets the box on the coffee table before turning back to Katniss who still hasn't shut the door.

"Did you burn something?"

"Why are you here Peeta? What's with the box?" Katniss asks, not wanting to answer any questions about why she would be making her own cheese buns.

"Well, I'm moving and I came across a few more things of yours and since I haven't seen you at the bakery, I decided to just bring them to you. I brought you some cheese buns too." Peeta's tone is too cheery for Katniss' liking.

Katniss is angry that he thinks he can just come over unannounced, shocked that he is here to begin with, confused that he is moving and scared that he'll see how much she misses him that she doesn't notice he's headed towards the kitchen.

"Seriously Kat, what were you trying to make?" She tries to stop him but it's too late. Peeta has already seen the catastrophe that is her kitchen. The cheese still covers the wall, the table and the floor, the counters are covered in flour, and the sink is full of dishes.

"Were you trying to make cheese buns?"

Katniss nods briefly not being able to meet his eyes.

"Why were trying to make them Katniss? Why didn't you just come into the bakery?"

Katniss can feel her throat closing up and can't remember how to breathe. "Katniss?"

"I didn't want to see you." She says so quietly she'd be amazed if he heard her but when she looks up at Peeta to see the same expression on his face as the last time he was here she knows he did.

"I see," his tone is laced with anger as he heads back to the door, glancing around the living room. "You took the painting down?"

"It's in the garage."

"Why'd you take it down?"

"You can have it back if you want."

"Fuck Kat. I don't want it, it's yours," Peeta is yelling now and Katniss can't recall a time when he has taken this venomous tone with her before. "So you don't want to look at the painting, you don't want to see me. Do you want to pretend like I don't exist, like the 7 years we had together didn't happen?"

"Get the fuck out Peeta." Katniss says coolly.

"What?"

"Get the fuck out!" Katniss is seething now. "You can't walk in here and get upset when things look different then they did 6 months ago. Excuse me for not wanting to be reminded that you're fucking someone else."

"What was I supposed to do, huh? Was I supposed to pine for you the rest of my life?"

"How about not flaunting your new fucking relationship in my face?"

"I didn't know you'd be working that day."

"Fuck you Peeta. Don't give me that shit. You knew there was a chance I would be working. In fact, you knew the odds were in favor that I _would _be there."

"You didn't want me, remember? You're the one who wouldn't marry me."

"God damn it Peeta. I don't want to marry anyone. Ever! But I didn't walk out on you. I didn't walk out on us." Katniss' voice breaks on last word. For the next few minutes, all Katniss can hear is her own heavy breathing and the blood rushing through her ears.

"Do you still love me?" Peeta finally whispers. No longer able to speak, Katniss nods. "Do you still want me?"

This time Katniss finds her voice. "Always."

"Thank God." Peeta says before slanting his lips over hers.


End file.
